Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
