I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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