nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
