I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it glows. i had to have it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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