First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
