you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
