There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
