Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
how drunk are you?
Several
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
