I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
