i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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