I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
