bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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