You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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