I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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