I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
