No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
