Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
