If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
