i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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