How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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