That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
