So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
