Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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