i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
