i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
