forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
