I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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