Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
