Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
