Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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