I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
