...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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