I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
