So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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