she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
