There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How does one acquire holy water?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
