I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
