There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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