She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
