I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
