You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
