this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We left an ass print on the piano.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
