Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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