Im at strip club and am horny
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
