five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
