yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she looked like the before picture.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
