It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
