that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
