Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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