Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
